Surveys in…..

The survey’s in…

P –

Deep breath and hold… and open the email from the surveyor…..

Do we dare look? We have to, obviously. We scan, read and breath, and sigh, and whoooo it’s ok. Well sort of, and its only a top line heads up summary report.

It doesn’t tell us anything we didn’t know just by walking around the house, prodding and poking beams and floor boards.

Then wait, wait , wait and argh deep breath again and hold… and open the actual report from the surveyor….

This time its the whole report – all 50 pages…. all colour coded red, amber and greens. Arghh mostly reds and ambers….. no wait theres a green oh and another one, wow we have greens on our report yehhhh.

So what are all the reds, I hear you screaming at your computer –  mostly basic things like you need a new kitchen and you need to replace the bidet.

But there are a few big fat juicy tomato coloured reds, the main one is the roof which we sort of knew would need work, the good news is that the roof over the main house is fine, s few slipped tiles here and there which is easy to fix. but he’s recommending that the whole roof over the old barns should be stripped and have a protective liner put on then the tiles put back but also with new under tiles to give extra protection. Oh and two corners of the house need tying together as they have slipped . Hmmm what next oh yes and theres beetles eh in the beams, lots of beetles in the beams some dead yehh and some alive buggers.

Now by this time we were both knackered from elation and depression and up and down and shaken all about.

His last words were its a good house in a lovely place, so that’s positive, isn’t it?

Argh what to do, we love this house, its the right one we know it is, arghh what to do, ok keep calm. Let’s phone the surveyor and have a proper chat to him as we know that surveyors always err on the side of caution and cover themselves.

Kev made the call and had a good chat to the surveyor, ill let him explain

K- Why is every aspect of this process stressful and rushed? There is never enough time!! The report was promised to us on Tuesday, and on that basis we agreed to meet to sign the compromis the following Tuesday. Of course, it wasn’t that easy. The report finally turned up Friday lunchtime, threw up the issues it did, without any suggested costs. Fortunately, a quick service station stop on our way up to Manchester (we were visiting friends for the weekend) provided the opportunity for a phone chat with the surveyor in France. He put my mind at ease regarding the very common furniture beetles (these can be dealt with ourselves), and the cost of the new roof – it’s basically going to take up most of the contingency we’d put aside to start the gites (a bit dependant on exchange rates), but we can incorporate the installation of velux windows into the roof refurbishment, which will save us money down the line.

Just to be sure, we’re having a quick meeting on Monday night at the house with a builder – again leaving the important decisions till the very last minute.

All of this made me remember a film from the 80’s


P – I’m not Shelly Long, my hairs not curly enough…….


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